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WARNING: These are really horrible
insect puns!
If there are 5 flies in the kitchen how do you know which one is the
American Football player?
The one in the sugar bowl!
What do you get if you cross some ants with some tics?
All sorts of antics!
Why did the queen bee kick out all of the other bees?
Because they kept droning on and on!
Why did the bees go on strike?
Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers!
What did one firefly say to the other?
I got to glow now!
What do you call a 100 year old ant?
An ant-ique!
What is a bee's favorite classical music composer?
Bee-toven
What do bees do if they want to use public transport?
Wait at the buzz stop.
Why was the centipede late?
Because he was playing "This little Piggy" with his baby brother!
What do you get if you cross a centipede and a parrot?
A walkie talkie!
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The Rodent
One night at about 3AM my wife was getting up from
the throne to return to bed when she heard a little noise. It was a
suspiciously rodent like sound that seemed to be right in the bathroom
with her. She of course froze and listened attentively for any further
sign of invaders. After a moment, satisfied that she was alone, she took a
step for the door. Rodent scratchy sounds again! She froze, not breathing.
Silence.
Her heart beat fast as she once again tried to retreat from the
bathroom. This time the noise was accompanied by something touching the
back of her leg! That was, of course, too much to bear. She literally flew
the 8 feet to the bed, clearing the foot board by a couple feet, to land
screaming by my side.
This is not a pleasant way to wake up. Scrambling into consciousness,
now scared half to death myself, I managed to get the light on. The
culprit was right there in plain sight, a trail of toilet paper neatly
marked the path from bed to bath.
Submitted by ARareJewel
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A rat can last longer without water than a camel.
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The early bird gets the worm but it's the second mouse
that gets the cheese.
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